


Oh, Baby, I Am a Wreck When I'm Without You, I Need You Here to Stay

by Huntress8611



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Coda, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair, this is the first spn fic i've written since 2016 this is w a c k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27555130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress8611/pseuds/Huntress8611
Summary: Dean and Cas stared at each other and the tension in the air was palpable.“Dean-”“You fucking asshole!” Dean shouted, shoving him away when he tried to take a step towards him.“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas said quietly. “I shouldn’t have-”“You can’t just say that and then die!”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 250





	Oh, Baby, I Am a Wreck When I'm Without You, I Need You Here to Stay

**Author's Note:**

> ...2015 me is SCREECHING. I cannot believe they actually did this.
> 
> I haven’t written a Supernatural fanfic since 2016. 2016. I don’t- just, what even is this timeline anymore. What is happening. How is this happening.
> 
> AIso: I started writing this before s15e19 aired, so it is not canon compliant to that episode. There are, obviously, spoilers for s15e18 Despair.
> 
> The title of this work is from the song Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery.

“Cas!” Sam said, quickly pulling the angel into a hug. “Cas. Oh I’m so glad that worked.”

Then Sam stepped back and Jack was there, nearly knocking him over with the force of his hug.

“Cas,” Jack said, “Cas.”

Cas just hugged him back tightly, and they didn’t move for a while. Jack had been terrified that Cas would never come back, that they wouldn’t be able to save him and he’d be gone forever, all because of a deal he made for him.

When Jack finally pulled away, Cas looked over at Sam, and then at Dean, who hadn’t said a word since he’d been brought back. He was just standing there, watching them.

Sam looked at Dean and he sighed. He looked like he was on the edge of a breakdown, and he knew that he’d never let himself do something like that if he and Jack were still in the room. Sam got Jack to leave and shot Dean a look before following him out.

Dean and Cas stared at each other and the tension in the air was palpable.

“Dean-”

“You fucking asshole!” Dean shouted, shoving him away when he tried to take a step towards him.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas said quietly. “I shouldn’t have-”

“You can’t just say that and then die!” His back hit the wall as he took a step back, and Cas stayed where he was, not coming any closer. “I- you didn’t even let me-” He needed to say it back but he just didn’t know  _ how. _ “I thought you were gone forever. I thought- I-”

Cas was confused. Dean was angry at him, obviously, but he’d originally thought that his confession had been the source of Dean’s anger. Now he wasn’t so sure. He decided to chance it and move closer. Dean didn’t say anything, he just looked at him, and Cas could see the fear hiding behind the anger in Dean’s eyes.

“Dean… it’s okay.” he said softly.

Dean felt a hand on his shoulder and Cas was right in front of him. Then he felt arms tentatively wrap around him and he gave in, tightly hugging the angel back, practically collapsing against him.

Cas’ arms tightened around him and one moved up to the back of his head, cradling it against his shoulder.

“It’s okay, everyone’s okay, I’m sorry, Dean, I’m so sorry,” he said, resting his cheek on top of Dean’s head.

Dean tried not to cry, but the relief of having Cas back was just too much, and tears began to slip from his eyes. He tightened his grip on the back of Cas’ trench coat and pressed his face into his shoulder, trying to get himself back under control.

“You were gone, Cas,” he managed. “You were  _ gone. _ You told me, and then you died, and I couldn’t- I didn’t-”

Cas pulled him closer, and then carefully helped Dean to sit down on the floor, making sure to not let go of him. Dean wasn’t sure how long they sat there before he said something.

“You- I thought you died- that you weren’t coming back this time,” he whispered. “Cas… you can’t just make deals like that and then not tell us.”

“Dean, there’s nothing you could’ve done,” Cas tried to explain. “I-”

“I know, I know, but we could’ve figured out  _ something.” _ Dean said. “We’ve done the impossible before. Hell, we do the impossible all the time.”

“There were more important things-”

“Cas, shut your damn mouth. You’re important, too. Family is important, more important than anything. We’d have figured it out, Cas. We would have found a solution, made a plan, done something.”

Cas didn’t respond, knowing that nothing he said would be acceptable. Dean would have refuted any excuse that Cas could have given him for keeping his deal to himself, and he would have refuted them well. Instead, he simply tightened his arms around Dean and waited for him to speak again.

“Hey Cas?” He couldn’t believe that he was actually going to say it. It was true, but… it was something he’d kept a secret for a long time.

“Yes, Dean?”

“I love you,” he said quietly. “I love you too.”


End file.
